Posted on January 09,2019 in Divorce

The topic of divorce is difficult for many couples. The relationship may have become one-sided or perhaps both spouses are unhappy. The best way to convey these feelings is to communicate about the status of your relationship, but that often does not occur until it is too late to save a marriage.

Many spouses first learn of their partner’s intention to divorce them when they are told they have already filed a Petition for a Dissolution of Marriage. This is the first step in the divorce process and your spouse is required by law to alert you that a petition has been filed with the court. Official notification by legal notice is typically mailed or delivered by a process server. In the event you cannot be located, a notice is posted in a newspaper of general circulation in your area. 

To avoid being caught off-guard, here are some signs a spouse wants a divorce:

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 Posted on January 03,2019 in Divorce

With New Year’s and the holiday season now in the rearview mirror, children will soon go back to school. Winter break is a great time to enjoy days with your children and celebrate together. With your child being off from school for multiple weeks, hopefully your parenting plan worked sufficiently for you and your ex-spouse as you navigated the packed schedule. 

Parenting plans should be formulated during the initial divorce process. They detail when a child gets to spend time with each parent and provide instructions for situations like extracurricular activities, holidays, and day-to-day life, such as exchanges of parenting time and a child's educational needs.

There are many ways to split time between two parents when a child is off from school. With important holidays during winter break such as Christmas and New Year’s, that can alter how time with your child is organized. For example, one holiday may be spent with one parent, and then switched to the other for the next. Another way of organizing a parenting plan during your child’s winter break is to have the majority spent with one parent, and the important family holiday with the other. 

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 Posted on December 26,2018 in Divorce

With the new year on the way, people always look for ways to improve themselves for the upcoming calendar year. Some may choose to eat better, work out more, or pick up a new hobby.

After a divorce, it often takes some time to adjust and get used to no longer being with your spouse, especially if the marriage lasted for many years, but the new year brings a fresh opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can do this at any time after the divorce, but with millions of other Americans setting goals to better themselves, you might feel inspired. If you have friends who set resolutions as well, it can be helpful to have them as your support network.

Here are some post-divorce Near Year’s resolution suggestions:

Be Kind To Yourself

It is easy to blame yourself for your divorce, but even if your actions contributed to the split, typically there is plenty of blame to go around. No relationship is perfect, so your spouse most likely had a hand in it as well. Stop blaming yourself for the divorce and think about the positives that come from it. If you and your spouse have been unhappy for a while, a divorce will eventually feel like a relief. Now you can use the time you have to better all aspects of your life.

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 Posted on December 18,2018 in Divorce

No matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year, if you are recently divorced with children, it can be difficult to let go of your ex-spouse and the times you had. Family holidays like Christmas typically increase the level of communication between you, and if this is your first holiday season after your split or divorce, planning festivities may feel like a daunting task. Your parenting plan is a great place to start. 

A parenting plan should provide a breakdown of all important holidays. School-aged children have extra time off this time of year, so your plan should reflect that in a manner that is fair to both parents. Splitting a child’s time off and allowing each parent to have either Christmas or Christmas Eve is a good way to go. 

Despite the cheer and excitement of your children, the holidays can be a lonely time for those who have recently gone through a divorce or are currently in the middle of the divorce process. Family holidays are a tough reminder that you are no longer married, and your family has split. Here are some tips for getting through the holidays:

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 Posted on December 11,2018 in Divorce

Although it has become more common for women to keep their maiden name for personal or professional reasons, taking a spouse’s last name when you get married is still a common practice. The tradition originates from old 19th century English law, where women were required to assume their husband’s surname. Today, 20 percent of women in the United States retain their birth names, but what happens when a member of the 80 percent decides to get a divorce? 

Since the 1980s, the divorce rate in the United States has decreased. Today, for first-time marriages, it sits at around 45 percent. When divorcing your spouse, a request to change back to your maiden name should be included in your divorce petition. This only concerns a switch to your birth name. A new request should be filed if you wish to change your name to something else.

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about dropping your ex-spouse’s name following divorce:

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 Posted on December 04,2018 in Divorce

Enlisting children in extracurricular activities builds confidence and opens doors to different interests. Participating in music, sports, or clubs as a child can create lifelong skills and passions. 

A break in the family, such as a divorce, can make life feel uncertain for your children, and create conflicts between parents. Perhaps one parent thinks the violin lessons are going nowhere, or horseback riding lessons are too expensive, while the other disagrees.

Here are some divorce tips on how to approach these activities:

Allocation of Parental Responsibilities in Illinois

Parental responsibility (formerly referred to as custody) is separated into different categories in Illinois, including education, extracurricular, medical, and religious. During the divorce, it is up to the parents to create an agreement that addresses the decision-making for these areas. Parents may decide to split up the duties, or work together on each to reach a joint consensus. If parents are unable to agree on how to proceed, it can be decided by court order.

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 Posted on November 27,2018 in Divorce

Did you know married couples with teenage daughters are more likely to get divorced than those without? Still, it is much more than the occasional screams and door slams from a teenage girl that leads to a divorce.

Both male and female teens go through dramatic changes during those years, and divorce can turn things even more traumatic. This change may pile up on everything else they are feeling. 

Here are signs to look for that your teenage daughter is struggling with your divorce:

Low Self-Esteem 

Teenage girls in general have a reputation for having low self-esteem, but it may not stem from body image or bullying. During a divorce, they may put the blame on themselves for the split, which can add significant stress and pressure. This often transforms into behavior opposite of what one would think a person with low self-esteem would have, such as excessive bragging, doing or saying dramatic things, or bullying others. More obvious signs include avoiding common social situations, eye contact, and communication. 

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 Posted on November 16,2018 in Divorce

Thanksgiving starts the holiday season that recently divorced couples sometimes dread. When children are involved, holidays like Thanksgiving that are family based often get complicated. While your parenting plan likely covers holidays and other special dates, that does not mean it will be an easy time emotionally. 

Cooking for a large group of people is intimidating enough. Here are some tips for surviving your first Thanksgiving after a divorce:

Always Put Children First

If you feel a little awkward this time of year because of your altered family situation, imagine what your kids feel. They may still be upset about the divorce. Ask them what they think, and try to reassure them about the holidays. Tell them their feelings are okay, do not speak poorly of the other parent, and try to put a positive spin on the situation. Divorced parents might mean two Thanksgivings for them, and twice the pie. No matter how they feel, let them know you are listening. 

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 Posted on November 09,2018 in Divorce

Illinois is an equal distribution state, which means when assets are split between two parties in a divorce, the judge determines what is a fair division. This does not mean assets are split 50/50, however, and numerous factors are considered, including:

• Length of the marriage.
• How much each spouse makes.
• Health and age.
• Standard of living.

If the home you and your spouse lived in was marital property, one person will typically be granted the family home. This is usually the spouse who has primary residential care of any children under the allocation of parental responsibilities (formerly called custody). For the other spouse, this means finding a new residence. 

Here are some tips for moving from your family and home during a divorce:

Tell Your Children

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 Posted on November 05,2018 in Divorce

When signing a prenup agreement, it may feel like divorce is the inevitable conclusion, but if a couple gets divorced without one, the parties go to court to decide the division of assets if mutual decisions cannot be made. Signing a prenup before marriage addresses many issues a couple may face if divorce occurs, as long as no one tries to break the agreement.

What is a Prenuptial Agreement? 

A prenup is an agreement two people make before they are married, which settles financial and other arrangements in case the marriage fails. A person might suggest getting a prenuptial agreement if:

• He or she makes significantly more than the other partner.
• Both are business owners or entrepreneurs.
• One person has a high amount of debt.
• They have been married before and/or have children. 

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